The denouement to the odyssey: struggle, strife, and the joy that cometh in the morning. Here, Rafael Cabral takes us behind his life curtain in this concluding chapter… a saga’s final act.
Growing up, it was always them.
Santos.
My only ever football dream from when I was a boy was to play for the club. AND I LIVED IT.
I was a part of one of the best football teams of the 21st century in South America, during one of the best periods in the club’s history, and I was playing with some of the best players as well. I remember too growing up in the [Santos] academy with Neymar, and we even went to the first team together, so we (our team) were mostly young, but we were happy, and we were winning — and we won almost everything!
In 2010, we helped the club win the Copa do Brasil for the first time, and the Campeonato Paulista. And then in 2011, we won the Copa Libertadores again for the first time since Pele had won it almost 50 years before! It had been so long, and it was so amazing. I was finally living my dream, so I wanted to just play at Santos for the rest of my career. I was so happy.
But life sometimes is not so simple. It doesn’t always just stop at one place.
After a while, when I was still in Brazil, something started happening that I couldn’t explain. I remember during this time: I suddenly started to wake up at seven o'clock every Sunday morning, and I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know why it was happening. Every Sunday at 7 a.m. (like clockwork). It didn’t happen on any other day too, only on Sundays, so I started wondering to myself, “Why is it just Sundays that I wake up at seven o’clock?”
I couldn’t sleep, so I started to turn on the TV when it happened, and, all the time, it was showing Italian soccer, so I started watching this. It was like this every Sunday. At seven o’clock, I’d wake up and would not be able to sleep. Then I’d turn on the TV to watch the Italian games. It was happening all the time, so I was watching this a lot, and after a while, I started thinking and feeling to myself, “Oh, Italy looks so nice, and Italian football too. Nice place and nice soccer, really.” I was really enjoying watching it and the things I was seeing. I had no idea what was about to happen.
I continued at Santos during this time. But then one day (coincidentally), we received the news that some teams in Italy were interested in buying (signing) me. Then I got offers from two Italian clubs: Roma and Napoli.
When I was growing up, most of my (football) idols were players (goalkeepers) who played their whole career for just one Brazilian club, so when I too finally became a player at Santos, that was what I also dreamt of doing at the time … but then these offers came in from Italy. Vanessa and I were already married by now, so we knew if we made such a big move, there would be some challenges, but I wasn’t even really sure which team to choose. It was a big decision.
So I prayed about it.
I asked God that if I was meant to go to Napoli, the Napoli coach had to call my phone three times.
And that’s what happened.
He called me three times, and after the third call, I agreed and told him, “Okay, I’ll come.”
I discussed it with Vanessa too, of course, because at the end of the day, it was both of our choices. We could have said, “No, we don’t want to go,” and that would have been the end of it. But we made the decision together to move.
When the time finally came, we were excited to go to Italy. But, of course, it was a challenge with a new language, and also because we had no family around us. In fact, to be honest, at the start, I was going crazy because (as a person) I like to talk and have conversations with people, but I couldn’t do that when I first got there, so I started to study. I studied a lot to try and quickly learn the language, but it was hard in the beginning because we had to depend on other people for almost everything: to help us find a house, to put internet in it … and many things like that — and I didn’t like that, so I studied hard to quickly understand the language and I learned it pretty quickly.
And as I learned the language, things started to feel better, and in the end, Italy was a very good place for me and Vanessa because of the culture, but also good for our marriage and relationship. It was nice because it was just the two of us, so we became even closer, and we did everything together. And, like I said, there were some challenges, but with every problem, bad moments, and good moments, we handled all of it together. It was the two of us against everything else, so the move was perfect for our marriage because it brought us closer together.
Back in Brazil, soccer is amazing and everybody loves it, but sometimes it is hard to have much of a life outside of it. Everything is always just soccer. All of the training, travel, pressure, games … for players with families, it can be very hard because you spend so much time away from your family. For example, when I was at Santos, I was always traveling a lot because over there you’re always playing two or three games a week and you are always traveling long flights, so Vanessa was alone a lot, except only when her mom came to be with her.
Italy was a change because it’s smaller than Brazil, and our flights were only about 50 minutes long at the most, so the team would fly, play, and come back home quickly, so I was at home more often, and we had more time together. We had fewer games, too, and all that meant more time for me and Vanessa, with each other, to enjoy. It was really nice, and it was important also because my daughter was born there (in Italy), so we could all spend enough time with one another. The people from Naples are also very similar to us — they like to receive you at home, offer food, stay around the table… and, of course, the food is amazing [laughs], so that was nice as well. We lived there for five years and made good friends, and we loved the city.
After I started playing for Napoli, it felt good because their style was very different from where I was coming from, so I was really enjoying it. In Italy, it’s more tactical than in Brazil, and they care a lot about the defensive side because that’s the Italian strength — defense. So for me, as a goalkeeper, it was easier than in Brazil, where it’s always “Attack, attack, attack!” And it helped me develop a lot as a goalkeeper, not just at saving shots, but also tactically, being involved in the game, and using my feet. I learned how to play with my feet in Italy because, in Brazil, the goalkeeper never played out from the back. The build-up over there was always just normal (long clearances), but Italy taught me how to play better.
It was amazing as well because, for Napoli, I played in the Champions League, and when you play in that competition, you know you’re playing a different league because that music before the game… it makes you feel something… goosebumps. And at Napoli, they make it even better because at the end of the music, the whole stadium shouts “Champions!!” It’s amazing so, for sure, when you get there, the Champions League is the dream. But it’s like the Libertadores for us (South Americans) because the Libertadores is the Champions League of Brazil. My first game in it was against Arsenal. We played well and won 2-0, so it was different. It was a really nice experience.
My club was one of the five or six big clubs in Italy too, so there was always pressure to win, especially when we played against Juventus — and Juventus during that period were unbelievable. They won the league for seven years in a row because they had the best team, but my first trophy with Napoli was against them. When you looked at their team, they had legends like Tevez, Pirlo, Pogba, Marchisio, Bonucci… so their team was unbelievable. Our team was also very good, but they were amazing. But in 2014, we managed to win the final (of the Italian Supercup) against them.
Those kinds of matches felt different because Juventus are Napoli’s biggest rival, so it was tough, because in Italy, it’s not just about soccer, it’s about culture — North versus South. Naples is in the South and the people were a bit poorer, and Juventus is closer to the North, and people from the North liked to look down on people from the South, so Napoli weren’t just representing the club, but also the part of the city and the whole state, so games against Juventus meant a lot — to the people, the fans, the city… It’s their life. It’s more than just a trophy, more than just about soccer. You can feel it when you’re there. You cannot just walk normally in the streets before a game versus Juventus; they say you have to smash them. And if you win against them, it’s like winning a championship for the Napoli fans.
When we played that final it was a bit crazy because I remember we were losing at first, but we tied the game with the last ball (of normal time), so we went to extra time and we conceded another goal, but we scored again in the final minute of extra time to take it to penalties! Then, during the shoot-out, they could have won it early with Chiellini’s penalty, but I saved it! And even after that, they could’ve won it again, but the Juventus player shot his penalty over the bar! It was so crazy because they could’ve won it many times, like three or four times, but in the end, we won! It was like 8-7 at the end of the penalties. It was unbelievable!
That day was so amazing. I stayed there for five years, but that was my first trophy with the club. I had many other good moments — and some bad ones — but during my last two years, I wasn’t playing anymore because I wasn’t the first-choice ‘Keeper, so when the time came when my contract was almost over, they offered me a new one to stay, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to go somewhere else where I would play more. And there were some moments that happened that I didn’t like, so I just thought I had to protect Vanessa and move her out. I was thinking about coming back to Brazil at this point, but she was pregnant with our second child, a son, Lucca, so we decided it might be better if we stayed in Italy because we were already used to the country and culture. We had now been living there for five years, and we felt that changing countries again when we had a baby coming would maybe not be for the best, so we discussed it and we agreed.
I told Napoli that I would be leaving, and after my contract with them ended, I got an offer from another Italian club, Sampdoria. I was looking for a new project, and they gave me a four-year contract that would allow us to continue living in Italy, where we were already good and happy, so we decided to go there.
Sampdoria was good for us. They, too, are a great club, and we were fighting to play in the Europa League, but it wasn’t one of the five or six big clubs in Italy. But during that point, our choice was more about protecting our family and staying in Italy, and me playing again, so it was an easy decision, and it was really nice, but it still was not easy because throughout my career I was used to playing for big clubs — I played for Santos and then Napoli — and they all had a similar mentality of winning. Sampdoria had a different mentality because when we went to games, we were not the team that everybody wanted to beat. There wasn’t really as much pressure for us to win every game as there was at Napoli or Juventus, so for me, it was hard to adjust to because I wasn’t used to that kind of mindset. I always want to play and win every game, so I found this mentality different from what I was used to. That made it a bit hard, but I also met good people and worked with a very good coach who later went to AC Milan. And I learned a lot there, so it wasn’t perfect, but it was good, and it was important to protect my family.
After spending one season at Sampdoria, I had the chance to move to play in England, and this, for me, was such a huge opportunity because I had always loved England. I love how they play their soccer and how the clubs there have really good structure and facilities, and I love their league — the Premier League, for me, is the best league, and I would’ve loved to experience playing in it. I wasn’t moving to the Premier League, but I got an opportunity to play for Reading, and this was a very good club close to London.
When the offer came, we were excited, but we were also a bit worried because it was going to be another big change. We did not know any English yet and my son was only one year old, so it was a big move, but I wanted to live that experience of playing in England, so we discussed and agreed that it would be a good move for the family after so many years in Italy, and in the end we took it.
England was exciting and it was another opportunity to learn a new culture and language, so that was amazing, but it was hard for Vanessa because of the weather — it was always raining — and having to be alone a lot with the kids with no help when I was away playing games, so it was hard but it was good because it helped us become who we are as a family. And Vanessa as well… she was so amazing during this time. I said it before, and it’s the truth, I would not have been here without her. She helped me so much.
Playing for Reading was amazing as well, and I grew a lot as a goalkeeper when I was there because it was a different style again from when I was in Brazil or Italy, and the different culture helped me become a better professional too. There, I had to do more things (be more involved in the game) than in Italy because of how physical the game was — it was less like that in Italy. I had to be strong in the box because there were so many more crosses, more shots — a lot of shots — and it was always raining. England also had better pitches, so the ball moved faster, but it was a really good experience, and it helped me develop even more.
During this time, my daddy was still traveling from Brazil to come and watch me. Even when I was at Napoli, even though he couldn’t watch every single game anymore after I left Brazil, he came to Naples many times to watch me play. He always tries to come to where I am at least twice a year, and always during my birthdays. My brother also came to watch me in Naples and England. He works a lot, so it was a bit harder for him when I was far away, but whenever I was playing in Brazil, they would watch all of my games.
I was really enjoying my time at Reading, and I still had time on my contract as well. Everything was good and we were happy, so I wasn’t even thinking of going back to Brazil. I wanted to stay in England. But one day, I got a call from Cruzeiro (a Brazilian club) and they wanted me to come back and join them. I didn’t want to, but I spoke to them out of respect and told them I was happy where I was and didn’t want to go back to Brazil. I thought that would be the end of it, but then I had another faith experience that changed my mind.
I was asleep at home one day. During my sleep, God came to me in my dream and was speaking to me. He told me, “You don’t pray anymore,” and suddenly I woke up and realized it was God trying to talk to me, so I started to pray about the whole situation, and God answered me. He told me to go back.
It was hard because when I prayed, I was honest with God. I told him that I didn’t want to go back to Brazil, but then I asked him for five specific things I wanted to happen, to make the process of returning easy, if he truly wanted me to go back.
Again, just like before, all five of them happened.
I was far away from Brazil, but I could hear the news about all the things coming out of Cruzeiro, and they weren’t good. They were struggling and were in the second division. They had almost no money, too, and were in a lot of debt, so they were going to have to sell the club. It was bad news, so I didn’t want to go back at first, but after having this experience with God, I said “Yes.” I agreed to leave Reading so I could go back home and help the club, and now, when I think about that time again, it was an amazing experience, to be honest. When I prayed to ask God for five things to happen, one of the things I asked for was that Reading would allow me to leave for free, so the process would be easier. And after I agreed with Cruzeiro, in the end, Reading allowed me to go for free. I never thought about money, and I always pray before I make decisions, so when all these things happened, I knew it was what God wanted me to do.
It was nice being back in Brazil, and I enjoyed it a lot because we were closer again to the rest of our family, and it was really nice to be playing again with my dad and family in the stands. I remember on the first day that the kids went back to school, they came back home and they were so excited, they said “Daddy, daddy, everybody at our school speaks Portuguese! Everybody here is speaking Portuguese!! They were so happy [laughs], and I said, “Yeah, we are back in Brazil now, we are back home,” so things like that were amazing.
At work, the pressure at Cruzeiro was high because it’s a big club that should be playing in the first division, but we were in the second, so we were fighting to get promoted back to the first. It was difficult, but it went well, and that year we won the second division and got back to the first division. Then in the second year, our goal was to survive and remain there, so it was hard, but it went well.
After a while at Cruzeiro, I went to play for Grêmio (another Brazilian club) because I had done what I had to do at Cruzeiro and bring the club back, and I wanted to play in the Libertadores again, and Grêmio was competing there, so I spoke to the club and we got an offer, and I left, but it was only on loan and for a short time from April to December. During this time, I started thinking about moving abroad to play because I felt it would be good for my family to live abroad again, and America was the place I was thinking about because I really wanted to play here.
After I came back to Cruzeiro, I started to watch MLS and follow American soccer to try and learn the clubs and the players. I saw that the league was growing. I had already been to Orlando, Miami, New York, and some other places, and every time I came, I always loved it. Vanessa and I discussed it too, and we agreed that we would like for me to play in America and our family to live here, so I signed with an American agent and told them what I was looking for. Then, after a month, they told me about Real Salt Lake, and I had a meeting with Mirza (Harambasic) for the first time. I started studying to learn about the club too, because I didn’t just want to live in America, I wanted to compete and win. I hate losing. I like the United States and I wanted to play here, but I said if it wasn’t a good club with a good, professional structure then I would just stay back with a club in Brazil, so Mirza and I talked a lot and I told him how I felt and what the kind of project I was looking for. Afterwards, I spoke with Kurt (Schmidt) and Pablo (Mastroeni) as well, and they all told me about the club. They showed me everything about the team, the club, and what their goals are, and it was what I was looking for. They told me about the way they play and the club’s mentality of growing young players, and I really liked it. Everything was perfect, so I prayed about it. I prayed a lot and told God it was my desire, and it happened.
Now that I’m here, I’m so happy. I’m 35 years old, but in my body I feel like I’m 25. I had other offers from other places, but I rejected them all because this is the project I liked the best. This is the place I want to be, and this is what I wanted as a professional and for my family.
Now, whenever I wear the captain’s armband, it feels like a big honor to be given this responsibility by the coach. But I am here as a leader, and so the most important thing, in the end, is to lead by example on and off the pitch, not only when I wear the armband. I came here to help and give my contributions because we all need each other. We have many goals to achieve and that makes me excited because that is what I like as a professional. I want to try and help take this club to a higher level, so hopefully we can all do that together.
So this is my life, and this is my story. Whenever I go on the pitch, I always give everything because I know I have to honor my history, because of all the things I’ve gone through to be here that nobody knows. I have to honor Vanessa for being with me all these years through everything, even when it wasn’t easy. I have to honor my son and daughter for all the times they had to change schools. I have to honor my daddy, who sacrificed so much for me so I could live my dream, and my mother, who taught me so much. Even now, my daddy has already come to watch some of my games here, and it’s another dream come true. It makes me so happy every time he watches my games because the truth is that it was our goal, our achievement — the two of us, not just me. He is part of it; he sacrificed so much. I see his eyes shine when he comes to watch me, and it makes me happy seeing that he is happy as well, so every time I go on the pitch, I know it’s not just about what club I’m playing for; I’m representing so many other people too — and the fans as well, who support the club and make their own sacrifices.
In the end, I never feel proud. I only feel blessed, because, of course, I always did my own part in always trying to give my best, but I also got help from others and so many of the people I’ve met in my life from goalkeeper coaches, coaches, friends, teammates… many people, so I feel more blessed than proud. And, for sure, every time I see my kids, every time I drop them off at school and watch them go, I feel so blessed.
This is my story, this is my life. I thank God for it every day, and I think my mom would be proud.