A tale of struggle, loss, and unyielding determination, defined by one man’s undying faith and effervescent devotion. In this first part of our newly revived In My Own Words player series, Rafael Cabral shares with us the story of his becoming.
Sorocaba is a city one hour and a half away by car from Sao Paulo, in Brazil.
That’s where I was born.
I was born into a very healthy family, with my daddy, and my mom, and I’ve got one brother older than me.
It’s a nice city and it’s getting bigger now. Back then there were only like 500,000 people but now it’s around a million! It's getting big because it's close to Sao Paulo, so many people are moving from there to live in Sorocaba, then they'll drive to work in Sao Paulo and back again to Sorocaba because Sorocaba is safer.
My whole family is from there. Everybody is originally from Sao Paulo, but my mother moved when she was young because my grandfather moved the family to work in Sorocaba, so all my family was in Sorocaba and my life was with them. I stayed there till I was 13 years old when I left to play soccer. We are a very close family.
I met Vanessa (my wife) there too. She moved to Sorocaba when she was 10 or 12 years old, around that age, but I met her when she was 14 and I was 16.
Growing up, I had friends from school, but I didn’t have much of a life away from school because I was just focused on studying and practicing soccer. I started to train very early, so I never even went to a friend’s party or anything because I always had to train. It was school in the morning, afternoon training, and night for sleeping, again and again throughout the week, and weekends were with my family.
I was six years old when I started playing soccer, and I got this passion from my daddy because he wanted to be a soccer player too. But his father passed away when he was 14 and his mother was a very simple woman, so he gave up trying to play soccer to work and support his family because back then people didn’t get much money from soccer and he didn’t have the help or the resources to try. And so he gave me everything. What he didn’t have, he gave to me.
He gave me everything. What (my daddy) didn’t have, he gave to me.
- Rafael Cabral
My mom was a teacher at the school that I studied at. It was the best school in the city and it was expensive but I could study there because she was working there. When I told her I wanted to be a soccer player, she told me yes I could play but “you have to promise me you’re going to study,” because, again, back then being a footballer wasn’t viable, so I promised her I was going to study. She told me she wanted me to at least finish high school and I promised her that was fine and I was going to do it.
My relationship with my mom was unbelievable, we were very close. She knew how to teach and guide people, and, again, she was at my school so she was always present. She gave me everything: love, support, education. And she and my dad put me on the right way, they taught me how to be a good human being, a good father, a footballer, a professional… everything.
She used to watch every single game that I played too. I started to play in goal when I was six years old, so I was a kid, and I remember when I played in school, during every game I was always looking to her, away from what was happening on the field, and every time she’d tell me “no, no, no Rafa look at the pitch! Look at the pitch!” So every time my team was attacking I’d look away to her and she’d say “Look at the pitch!” [laughs]. It’s nice to remember. It was beautiful.
She taught me so many good things and I was blessed to have her as a mom. I cannot find the words to fully describe her, to be honest, because she was amazing.
But then when I was 10, we knew she had cancer, and it was three bad, difficult years because she was getting treatment and trying to get healed. But unfortunately, when I was 13, she passed away, and then it was just me, my brother, and my daddy. My dad did everything for us, to be honest.
But my mom was always serious about me studying, so for sure it helped me a lot because normally in Brazil, the kids, they just think about football and they don’t study. It’s just soccer and nothing else. So after she passed away – because I promised her that I would keep studying – I studied and finished high school and after I finished high school I thought “No, I’m gonna do more than I promised her,” so I've done college as well since then. It was nice. But of course, it was a short time because I lived with her for just 13 years, and it was very hard, but she gave me everything I needed to be who I am now.
I moved away straight after that. I’d had an offer to play for Bahia, in Salvador – it’s a big club in Brazil – in their academy, and all my family was against it because I’d just lost my mom, so everybody said I shouldn’t be allowed to go because Salvador is so far away from my city and I would be there all alone living there.
But my daddy was against everybody. He said, “No if he wants to go, he’ll go because it’s his dream.” He told me, “Well, your mom just passed away, so it’s hard. I don't wanna stay away from you as well,” and I told him it was my dream but then asked if I could still come back home if it didn’t go well, and he told me “Of course you can.” So he always gave me the choice and gave me all the support. I was blessed like that. And my daddy watched every single game from when I was 13, 14, and to when I was playing professionally in Brazil. Even during long trips for far-away games. Whenever he could, he’d drive like six hours to watch my game. He’s amazing. He texted me a few days ago too telling me how much he missed watching my trainings. He loves soccer, and he loved watching my trainings.
When I left, of course, I was a little scared at first, but I just thought about my dream and I was sure that I needed to do that to become a professional footballer. I moved at the beginning of the year. Then in May, I saw my dad again when he came to my birthday, but after he left I didn’t see him again until the end of the year, so I was only seeing him one time per year.
But when I look back on it, it was a great experience because that was the first time I had almost nothing. I had no money, the same food, and I saw many friends of mine doing bad things, but I just thought to keep doing right, training, and doing my best. I think it was, for me, an important experience.
Bahia was unbelievable because I played there for two years and I learned a lot. It’s a big club in Brazil, so that was the first time I had contact and experience too with a big club and their fans. I was young but it was amazing because I learned to live alone, and I learned how to value things better, so for me it was important for the way that I developed as a man, and, of course, soccer-wise, it was good for me as well.
Now that I’m a daddy myself, I understand how strong my daddy was during all that time because he really helped me. I went there with just a dream. I didn’t get money for playing, they gave me housing and food. But in Brazil, this is how it is – you have to start early and play and develop inside a club, with good coaches, so that helped me a lot but I remember it wasn’t easy because I was upset and I was sad. But I think soccer saved me because it was my gasoline. It was my dream. It kept me on the right track because, in my mind, I always knew that if I did anything bad, then I wouldn’t become a professional. If I drank, I wouldn’t become a professional, or if I used drugs, I wouldn’t become a professional, so I always had that too in the back of my mind.
When I was 16, I left Bahia and joined Ituano and this new club was closer to my house. I was 16 and playing with the Under-Twenties, so I was playing four years older than me. During this period, my agent called me and told me he could take me for an opportunity to try out at Santos, so I decided to go. I stayed at Santos for around one or two weeks before the club went on their holiday, so they told me to go home and come back the next year to keep trying and see if I could stay permanently or not, so I went back home.
During this holiday, I met Vanessa.
I remember everything like it was yesterday, I’m a romantic [laughs]. I met her on my street, close to my grandmother’s, and we had some common (mutual) friends, so we started talking and became friends. I tried to date her but she didn’t really know me. After we started talking, she knew I would be going back to Santos – and Santos is about two and a half hours away – so when she knew this, she said she didn’t want anything to do with me because I’d be far away from her and would be alone. So I went back the following year and continued training. When I came home again and we talked, we started to date and she became my girlfriend after three months, and we’ve stayed together since.
It was never easy to be away because I was training, and when I was at Santos, I was earning money and spending all of it to go home and be back to see her because I was seeing her every weekend. But we always had a very good relationship, to be honest, and we got married early – She was 18 and I was 21 – because we started early, so we were sure that we should be together.
I remember (when I proposed to her), we were at her house. It was simple, and we were young, but I loved her and my daddy spoke to me as well, and, of course, our family knew that we had a good relationship. She came from a good family too, so my mother-in-law is like my mom in the way she treats me, and I had a very good example from my house of a good marriage and how to be a man and a good husband, from my mom as well, so family was always my first dream, and I met Vanessa and it was perfect.
When we finally had our first child, it was the best feeling of my life. We tried to be parents for two years but we couldn’t and we started getting a bit worried thinking “Oh my gosh is something wrong with me or Vanessa?”
For two years we were trying and we couldn’t but we did many exams and everything came back fine, so then we understood it was all in God’s time and we started to pray. Every 5 a.m. we were together praying about our dream, and after a month of doing that, Vanessa got pregnant! And it was amazing! My daughter was born in 2017. I was 27, and Vanessa was 25.
Being married as a professional, for Vanessa, was very hard because I always played for a few years at the clubs I went to, but it’s never an easy move moving clubs and cities, and sometimes countries. I was used to living alone since I was 13 years old but for her, of course, it was hard. But, I mean, if it wasn’t for her I would not be here today, for sure, because I had nothing, we built everything together. So that’s how it was, we got married and, with my career, she was always with me, supporting me, and in Brazil, it’s hard because you travel a lot. There are so many games and so much pressure all the time but she always helped me through everything. She’s my best friend and I’m sure I’m hers as well.
If it wasn’t for her (Vanessa) I wouldn’t be here today, for sure, because I had nothing. We built everything together… she’s my best friend.
- Rafael Cabral
Faith has always been important to us too. I was catholic at first because my family is catholic, but something happened when I was young that changed me.
I’d joined Santos permanently when I was 16 and I was training well, playing well, and doing well in the academy, so when I was 17 they offered me a deal. They called me and said, “Look, we are happy with you and we are gonna offer you a contract,” so I agreed and that was how I signed my first contract.
After that, before I started playing for the first team, I had offers from other clubs to leave, but playing for Santos, for me, was like a dream – to be playing for Pele’s club. It was huge for me, so, of course, I stayed. Signing the first contract was the first step and I knew I hadn’t played yet at this time but I was so happy because it meant for the first time I would get paid! I was making a salary now from my work, my dream, so I was very happy.
After some time, one day during a morning training – when I was 19 years old – the coach called me and told me he was going to give me my first opportunity to play for the first team during the upcoming game. He said, “Look, you are gonna play Saturday.”
Finally, after so long, this was going to be my first ever football game with Santos, one of the biggest clubs in Brazil, so I was very excited!
Then we had training again later in the afternoon, and that same afternoon, I broke my leg.
I was so sad – and I was scared. I finally had surgery after that and, after the surgery, the doctor told me that I needed between six and nine months to fully heal, so I just said “Okay that’s fine,” but it was very hard.
During this period, I was going to meetings talking about Jesus and my life was changing, but I was afraid. I didn’t know if my leg would be good again or not. It was really hard because a few hours before, they had told me I would be playing for one of the biggest clubs in Brazil, and then suddenly I broke my leg and now they’re talking six to nine months before I play again. I didn’t know if my leg would even be good enough again, or if the club would sign another goalkeeper to replace me because, as a big club, they sign players all the time. It’s so easy for them to sign players because everybody wants to play there, so I didn’t know if I would ever have the opportunity again. It was the most challenging time of my career because I didn’t know what was going to happen. And the injury was hard as well – the treatment, the physio, all those things were very painful, and I was all alone there at Santos. I was 19.
At that time, I started to read the Bible and pray, then I also started to go to the church – all of this combined with the meetings about Jesus – and I became evangelical. After the doctors told me I needed between six and nine months, I continued praying about everything and reading the Bible, and getting my treatment, then, after only three months, my leg was healed! The doctors and everybody at the club said “Your leg is so good! You have to do some exams to make sure everything is okay,” so I did everything. I took the many tests: an X-ray, MRI, everything. And they all showed that my leg was healed! So I lived that experience, I stayed there praying, and in three months, my leg was healed and I started to play again straight after.
Vanessa was still my girlfriend at that time and she saw everything. She saw the miracle, and after that, she came in the same direction and became evangelical too. I've got another experience as well, but that was my first one and since then our faith has been the most important thing to us.
I broke my leg and the doctors told me I needed six to nine months to fully heal, so I started to pray and read the Bible and was getting my treatment, and after only three months my leg was healed!
- Rafael Cabral
When I came back, I was feeling so good it looked like I’d never had anything wrong with my leg. I came back in December and normally December is a holiday period in Brazil, so I spent that whole month working a lot and by the time the team came back, I was really fit. I was training well but was now the fourth goalkeeper because I’d lost my place. But I stayed and continued training and after around two or three months, they gave me the opportunity again to play.
After the injury, the first thing I felt was just relief because I was fully healthy again – fully healed and healthy to continue doing what I love – and the second was happiness to still have the opportunity because when you are young, you always try to work hard and give your best but I needed somebody to believe in me and give me the opportunity, so when I finally got it again, and the coach made the decision for me to play, I was so happy.
At the time I was young for a goalkeeper, especially one playing for a big club in Brazil, but I knew it was my turn and my opportunity, and I remember the feeling of being around the stadium (for my first game). The feeling was unbelievable.
My first game finished nil-nil, so I kept a clean sheet and I remember after the match many people told me “Oh my gosh, you are just 20 and you play like you are 35 years old,” because that was my dream I had been working so hard for. All my life, for about 14 years – because I started when I was six years old – I worked so hard for that moment, so I was so excited.
I was so happy because they gave me the opportunity again and when I called my dad and told him I was finally gonna play, he was so nervous because it’s not easy – to be a goalkeeper’s daddy is hard – but we were all so happy.
After that, I knew that the rest was up to me. It was my job to do well. That was only the first one but I had the opportunity to play many more matches after that and, of course, everything went perfectly. I played during one of the best periods of Santos’ history because our team was very good. We won six titles in three amazing years and then I also started to go to the national team, so in around three to four months my life completely changed.
In 2010, we won two big trophies, and then, in 2011, we were back in the Copa Libertadores – and that is the most important championship for Brazilian clubs. It was important to the club too because the last time Santos had won the Libertadores was back when Pele was playing (48 years before – in 1963), but that year we managed to finally win it again and I became the youngest ever goalkeeper, even till now, to win the Libertadores, so things changed so quickly because our team was so good and we were winning everything. All over the country, everybody wanted to watch Santos play. Even if we were playing in another country, for example, in El Salvador, the airport and the stadium would be full. Everybody was watching for Santos.
It helped me because we were playing well and, again, I was young, so the Brazilian national team called me up and it was unbelievable because being a professional footballer is already hard, but representing Brazil too? We’ve got so many great players. My dad, for sure, cried when he heard about it. It was just unbelievable.
By the time I got my first opportunity to play (for Brazil) in 2012, I’d already been called up many times before, so just to be there, training with players like Kaka, and Ronaldinho – those kinds of players, was unbelievable. That year we started to prepare for the Olympics, which is for Under-Twenty-Threes, and the coach was trying to see which players to take to represent Brazil.
At this time, I was the second goalkeeper but then I had the opportunity to play against the United States in Washington. This game, for me, was so nice because it was my first-ever appearance! And I was playing for Brazil, against the United States, Washington, Big Stadium. It was amazing. We won the game 4-1 and that was my dream right there.
After the game, I couldn’t believe it. I was thinking to myself, “No, no I can’t believe I did that!” So it was nice. And since then I’ve played four games for Brazil and other times – many times – I was a second goalkeeper or third, but that game for me was just unbelievable.
Nowadays, when I look back and remember growing up, I left my home and went play for Santos, all alone, when I was 16, and up until now I still watch and support them. I love the club so much.
Santos changed my life, my dream. They gave me opportunities and they gave me my dream.